Saturday, June 30, 2012

Three. Spiritual, failure.

Once ,when speaking with a very attractive woman, I found all of my social ability draining from me, in a most frustrating way. Before you dismiss such as standard male experience, first allow me to accuse you of accepting current female chauvinist cultural tropes suggesting that men are generally buffoons. Shame on you for being so insensitive.

Now that we have that out of the way, I will also relate that this was a particularly frustrating experience because the girl was not someone I of whom I am afraid. Indeed, we are good friends and have enjoyed spending time relaxed time together; falling apart should not have occurred whilst I spoke with her.

In something like exasperation, I said a prayer to the effect of, "Sheesh, please help me out here."

The response was quick, but friendly: 'I AM helping you out here."

And, in the intervening weeks and months, I have seen what He meant; the person is happily involved with someone else, and we would have made a very poor couple had I convinced her to pursue a different route.
One of the few works by MC Escher in the public domain, but
I think it shows what I mean.

Viewing God's hand is perhaps simplest in the positive spaces: we pray for a blessing and we receive it; we see it, and we give thanks.

Yet, there exists an entirely different, and equally important line of blessings in the negative space, in the things the Lord does not let us do; the things He prevents us from experiencing, the times He removes our abilities for our benefit.

This was my experience today. I saw God's hand many times, but primarily in keeping things from occurring; though I do not entirely know  why.

It is a trial of faith, I suppose, to wait for the hand of the Lord to be revealed. Once, I had an opportunity to go to Paris. I had purchased my ticket, a large group of my friends were going, and I was excited to join them. Unfortunately, when I arrived at the ferry station, I discovered that I had left my passport in my apartment... an hour's train ride away. Needless to say, I missed the trip and was rather sad about it. But, I had felt previously that the Lord did not really approve of my going, and so I chalked it up to His action and assumed things would work out.

Missing Paris was a major blessing. My friends experienced criminal negligence and consumer abuse at the hands of the Parisian agents of the travel company; it made my blood boil just to hear about it after they had all returned safely (some of them days later than intended). I would not have kept my composure had I faced such treatment, I think. Moreover, I would have missed several important academic, emotional, and spiritual experiences I had while everyone else was gone.

In sum, the Lord knows what He is doing - and His actions to prevent and protect are just as merciful, and important, as His actions to prosper and provide. It is good to know that when the positive space in my life does not seem to be what I want it to be, there is probably design in the negative, in the lack.

(Non) Fiction:

There are treasures
to be found
in the forgotten pockets
of suitcases.

We publish books. On
our website, see text, not pics.
Buyer verdict? Lame.

Photo-sites, theme sites:
Graphic design makes crazy.
Programming does too.

(And no, the first is not and was not intended to be haiku; the haiku were inspired by the eighteen syllable couplet, not the other way around.)

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