The
speakers in Church today yielded many insights (i.e: “Just as we aren’t perfect
yet, our families aren’t perfect yet, either”). One of those was an answer to
my prayers for the day: to forgive.
One
of the speakers described the difficult time she had while working as a nanny
in Italy – where, even after overcoming the communication barrier, every one of
her decisions was questioned or attacked. She described how this difficulty led
her to seek God, and how that search strengthened her relationship with Him,
and her faith in the Savior.
I was struck by the similarities of her experience in Italy and my own in South Africa, and I realized that, perhaps, I was too harsh in my criticism of the BYU Independent Study program. Like the speaker, my activities were questioned or challenged at every turn, and like the speaker, that difficulty helped me turn to God. As a result, my faith, and my relationship with my Heavenly Father were strengthened.
I was struck by the similarities of her experience in Italy and my own in South Africa, and I realized that, perhaps, I was too harsh in my criticism of the BYU Independent Study program. Like the speaker, my activities were questioned or challenged at every turn, and like the speaker, that difficulty helped me turn to God. As a result, my faith, and my relationship with my Heavenly Father were strengthened.
I
did not give enough credit to the people on my program who were trying to do
their part, and suffering from the same difficulties that I was. I also did not
give enough credit to the program administrators, who attempted to prepare me
for the experience.
That
said, I do not regret my lack of support for the program going forward; I have
heard too many others who had experiences too similar to mine to believe that
my difficulties were an isolated experience. The immensely more positive
experience I had at Cambridge confirms to me that there is a better way.
Regardless,
I can forgive the people with whom I had so much trouble in and concerning South Africa. Five
years is far longer than it should have taken me to do so, but better late than
never. Peace and happiness to them all, collectively and individually; I hope
that each of them are and have been and continue to be doing well, and I at
last can express gratitude for the service and friendship and leadership and
shared experience I had there.
